How to care for an aging parent: the short answer
Start with one calm conversation about what your parent wants, then get four legal papers in place while they can still sign: a durable financial power of attorney, a health care power of attorney, an advance directive and a HIPAA authorization. Then organize the money, price care against what Medicare, Medicaid, VA or insurance will pay, scam-proof the accounts and split the work. You are not alone: 63 million Americans are family caregivers, and 47% report a negative financial impact (AARP, 2025).
1. Talk, then look
Ask about their goals first ("What matters most to you about how you live?"). Then check what they can do alone: bathing, dressing, meals, medicines, money, driving. Decide from facts, not worry.
2. Get the four legal papers
Financial power of attorney, health care power of attorney, advance directive (living will) and a HIPAA authorization. Without them, banks and doctors may not talk to you, and the family may need a court guardianship. Rules and forms vary by state.
3. Organize the money safely
List income, accounts and bills. Turn on autopay and alerts. Act as an agent under the power of attorney rather than becoming a joint owner. Social Security does not accept a power of attorney; it uses a representative payee.
4. Know who pays for care
Medicare generally does not pay for long-term custodial care. Medicaid, VA benefits, long-term care insurance or savings usually do (CareScout 2025; Medicare.gov).
5. Scam-proof
People 60+ reported $7.748 billion in losses to the FBI in 2025, up 59% (FBI IC3). Freeze credit (free), add a trusted contact at each brokerage, and agree on a family rule: any request for money gets a pause and a call first.
6. Share the load and protect yourself
Give each sibling a specific, recurring job. Learn your FMLA rights, and call the Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116) for respite, meals and transportation.
Sources: AARP & NAC Caregiving in the US 2025; FBI IC3 2025 Elder Fraud Report; CareScout 2025 Cost of Care Survey; Medicare.gov; Medicaid.gov; U.S. Department of Labor (FMLA); IRS; ACL Eldercare Locator. General education, not legal, financial, tax or medical advice. Rules vary by state. Checked November 2, 2026.
